sooo, i haven't posted anything in quite some time, mostly, due to my extreme laziness. i have, however, come across a couple cool websites and bloggable clothes, videos, and music .. i just haven't felt like sitting down and blogging any of it. so here's a short explanation of the logical madness swirling around in my head..
i've noticed that i only like to blog, tweet, facebook stalk, and surf other blogs when i'm by myself.. which is weird because i hate being by myself. i guess it's some only child syndrome shit from my childhood that i never got over. but anywho, i've also realized that i do a lot of trying to "keep up with the Jones'" .. if i see it on another computer getting blogged or i get shown something cool, i automatically don't want to blog it because it got done before me and i feel like a biter =/
i see a lot of stuff on Kanye's blog that i want to post and i have a ton of pictures of things that i think are really bitchin! i just never find the time, energy, or reason to blog it..
i've recently been told that i have entirely too many self-imposed rules and that i need to break them.. along with all of my stereotypical ideologies of beauty, art, clothing, and just LIFE in general.
now, seeing as only about 4 people have visited my blog and told me .. and only 2 FOR SURE check my blog daily, and only 2 people have commented on my blog..
no one reallyyyyy cares wtf i post
i think i kind of like that. i've been trying so hard to subconsciously please everyone else and trick them into going to my blog and delving into "my mind" that i've lost sight of why i created a fucking blog.. TO BLOG COOL ASS SHIT !! =D
i've been doing a lot of soul searching lately (in private lol) and i think i'm starting to find myself a little bit more each day. i've noticed that i can easily get lost in the thoughts others impose on me and ultimately lose the REAL me. i'm about 3 or 4 years deep into the lost Lesley (hehe that sounds cool) which is kind of a reverse effect of what college is supposed to do.. most people find themselves in college... i guess it just took me a little longer and a stronger mindset. so, with that said, i will be doing more each day to find myself and maintain an ambience of LESLEY and nobody else. i seriously think that this is a breakthru for myself =D i've tried new things with my hair and clothes.. went back to how Lesley wears make-up and not how her gorgeous friends do.. oh !! and just yesterday... i went bra-less, and flaunted some side titty. at first, it was weird.. i felt like everyone was staring, so i "covered" myself for fear of the infamous 'Nip Slip' .. which subsequently brought on more attention.. but then i just let go (for lack of a better term) and to my surprise, NO NIP SLIP !
it was truly liberating
which brings me to my next subject.. my amazing Unicorn, Avante Booooger the Pandacorn. at first, i didn't want to blab about our mushy relationship on here cause i thought my blog might catch on a bit quicker (yeah, pfft, high hopes) but seeing as he's the site's #1 reader lmao i feel the need to say the thoughts i've been thinking anyway.. nothing mushy or anything.. it's just that he, somehow, sees the real me underneath some of my "phoney" ways, if u will and encourages me to do outlandish things, say how i feel, not allow people to walk all over me, and he encourages me to be comfortable with my body (hence the side titty) and he does it all without being judgmental and i love that about him. he also listens to me, and that's something about 3 people in my life do, and act on, effectively. for example, he comes out of the blue every now and then and shows me a new blog about clothes and fashion that might interest me and more recently showed me this insanely amazing blog called 2bitchezdeep that i am already in love with. he does plenty plentyyy more for me that i can't even scratch the surface on but whatever, i'm grateful and, even tho i'm an argumentative bitch :] i truly appreciate it =D
but enough of that shit, right?
blogger is taking foreverrrrr to upload these pics for me so i'll do it later..
patience is a virtue i have never possessed..... ever. so whatev
♥
I think the reverse thing happens when going to college... i see people lose their real self and take on characteristics they never have and call them their own more than i see people mature into a better person. not saying it never happens just saying i hear the "look who came to college and became brand new" more often. Just my view but i loved the post. make your font a bit bigger babe im straining to read it.
ReplyDeletesome people are finders, most are losers.
ReplyDeleteluckily we're finders.
keep up the hussle and tussle it's worth it.
-slick